Thursday, May 14, 2009

Inside Out

As previously discussed we have had our fair share of difficulties in the gardening department here at Chintz of Darkness. While we are fond of all things dark, a BLACK THUMB is not so enviable and in no way chic…Things have only gone from bad to worse due to a particularly gloomy winter (and now spring) full of angst ridden storms, apocalyptic blizzards and demon frost worthy of an Immortal song…

Now some of our problems can be attributed to the apartment patio that serves as our “garden”. The lovely patio in question is situated at an odd sun angle, much like the shadow world between the mortal realms and the fey kingdom. This seems to greatly confuse our plants. Are they to grow like “normal” Creeping Charlie or Charles the Elf Warrior astride a warhorse made of petunias and snapdragons??? This confusion seems to lead to fungus, root rot and an inevitable yet untimely death. Even our stoic ivy has become despondent and no longer enjoys the resident squirrels sticking peanuts into every nook and cranny of its being…Ouch…And while a contributing factor in our ongoing gardening mishaps it has been agreed that there is no reason to include the words “rats” or “crazy upstairs neighbor” in this post…

Our current deathly shadow garden is actually an improvement over the street garden in front of our previous studio. Now street gardening might sound all hip and urbane, but that is far from the case. The highlight of our experiences include our daisies being trampled to death by herds of drunk girls giving each other piggyback rides, unsuccessful bicycle riding lessons carving pathways of destruction though our planters and a particularly malicious pair of tall and slender greyhounds. As we remember the wicked dogs were only 2 inches wide but 14 feet tall, and had the aim and intensity of a set of duel fire hoses…we kid you not, dear ones.


This has brought us to the conclusion that a new approach is needed to alleviate our flora and foliage woes. We have become much inspired by our childhood memories of our family’s sunrooms. Seraph recalls his Grandparent’s sunroom as a mystical place seeped in rustic Victorian grandeur. Tales are told of moldering yet exquisite wicker tables and sofas draped in down filled coverlets festooned with baroque bouquets of roses… Splendor’s head fills with visions of her Grandmother’s home. Grandma’s sunroom was packed with vases, pots and figurines in every imaginable size, shape and color. All of these assorted vessels became a refuge for every odd and stray plant clipping in the neighborhood, all growing until there was but a narrow and perilous path leading to the dining room…

Perhaps we shall create our own baroque garden salon complete with crumbling furnishing and feral and self sustaining devil vines (NOTE: you cannot buy those at most nurseries, they must instead be conjured or captured by other nefarious means.)

Gathered for your enjoyment are a series of greenhouses, sunrooms and secret gardenscapes that capture the fanciful essence of a garden path less taken…

A spectral spirit kingdom rise
In storm screens
Covered by eyes
Night emits its shadow
There is no difference
Between the ravens
They have come for me
They will come to me
To the cursed realm
Of the winterdemons


("Cursed Realms of The Winterdemons" by Immortal)

7 comments:

Carla Fox said...

May I suggest a lovely moss garden, perhaps? Topiary figures, spheres and pyramids covered in moss would be beautiful and only required a misting of water now and then. Love you blog...but I want more!

Seraph + Splendor said...

A moss garden would be lovely indeed...we already have some interesting spheres other oddities to work with! We will see if the squirrels approve...

S+S

Nats said...

Hi there
I stumbled across your page and I'm mesmerised! I do not quite understand what this blog is about, however..
Are you both interior designers/ artists? I'm intrigued as this site is definitely a gem.

Natasha x

Seraph + Splendor said...

Thanks so much for your kind words – so glad that you found our blog.

By day we are both artists / designers, by night we create dark sculptures and atmospheric roomscapes…

Please visit again soon!
S+S

Thierry (France) said...

Beautiful ! It look like "la Belle et la BĂȘte" (The Beauty and the beast), an old french movie with Jean Marais.

Seraph + Splendor said...

That is truly one of our favorite movies...sublime inspiration, Jean Cocteau is nothing sort of genius!!!
S+S

Chael said...

A pity Seattle isnt plagued with more more homes as lovely as this. I have to say, I'm im becoming deeply in love with what you've done here! Best wishes on your future endeavors!

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