Thursday, October 22, 2009

Costume Brawl



Judging from the looks we get in the grocery store we assume that we do not appear completely normal and assimilated with the society at large. Some weirdo is always gawking at us while we are selecting our day’s fruits and vegetables with an expression that seems to say “why aren’t you freaks in the smoke crack / worship Satan isle (oh, that is going to fill up the hate mail bag here at Chintz of Darkness…AGAIN…) And by the way that isle is usually right next to the orange juice and breakfast cereal … not that we would know…





Now just so that the correct picture is painted, we are not one of those lovely Gothic couples with perfect eyebrows (damn them, we shall infiltrate their ranks and steal their secrets) and gazelle like grace. No, dear ones, we are MUCH, MUCH worse. With that said, it usually comes as a surprise that we do not enjoy dressing up for Halloween. Every year there is some dumbass article on how to pick the PERFECT costume. “Dress as the person or thing you would most like to be” seems to be a popular concept. Now does anyone REALLY want to endure that at their next Halloween party, with our fiery horns poking everyone in the eyes and our tails singeing holes in the carpet? Another option that is often presented is to dress “OPPOSITE” of one’s normal self. HA! Do you really want to see Splendor with her hair brushed properly, wearing a white blouse and a sun bonnet? Or Seraph with his infernal aura covered by a sports jersey or a priest costume? Or perhaps, the insipid article will go on to say: “costume yourself as your hero, the person you look up to the most.” That is not going to work for us either, again just too much fire and brimstone to clean up in the morning…





For those of you still planning to take the plunge, we have gathered together a few helpful (?) ideas…Dressing as a piece of furniture is quite esthetically challenging, not to mention rather bulky and cumbersome. This fabulous 1960’s Swedish window display pictured above is an inspiration none the less. In our opinion installing a functional chest of drawers onto one’s torso is taking the concept TOO FAR. To simplify the outfit one could always attach drawer pull to one’s nipples or if shy to ones knee caps…





Costuming yourself as a book is wonderful for the literary minded. You can spend the evening with your pages romantically fluttering in the wind and your dust jacket can serve as a makeshift bib at the buffet table. Another advantage to this costume is if the night gets truly dull you can always go home and read yourself…hmmm…





A drapery treatment is a perfect costume for anyone in the design field (please note the lovely example that leads this post). You can use tricky words like galloon, jabot and fustian to confuse and frighten your friends and neighbors. It is a wonder that Seraph is not already swathed in goblet pleats and cockades with a lambrequin draped from arm to arm. We once had a client who would turn a becoming shade of scarlet every time we uttered the word “cockade” and we could never figure out why… (Side note: Seraph actually HAS been used as a semi surly living mannequin at times, adorned in elaborate headdresses that we made for charity balls …also, but DO NOT tell anyone, he has been known to drape himself in an elaborately appliqu├ęd parlor blanket and run around the studio like a baroque superhero (and this was on a strictly voluntary basis.) Perhaps, after everything is said and done, everyday IS Halloween around here… (Thanks for that one Uncle Al!)





Halloween is the night
The legend says the ghost will rise
On Halloween they can't redeem
A restless soul from ancient scene
At the sound of the demon bell
Everything will turn to hell


("At The Sound of The Demon Bell" by Mercyful Fate)

9 comments:

little augury said...

phantasmagorical.la

Lauren said...

Why didn't I think of this?! Dear god, this is hilarious. I've been spending far too long whipping up a costume involving that twisted neck from Death Becomes Her... I clearly should be spending my time building human cabinetry.

Lauren

(IN) DECOROUS TASTE

Seraph + Splendor said...

...ahh yes, human cabinetry! Just think - you would finally have a convenient (yet elegant) place to put your cell phone!!!
S+S

Carla Fox said...

This brings to mind the drapery-bedecked Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone with the Wind"...I myself have been known to use tassels and jabots as adornments for one's person (and not the pasty variety, either, thank you very much)! Cockades, not so much.............
Accolades on another charming post, S & S!

Seraph + Splendor said...

Yes indeed, you can definitely adorn yourself in bits of passementerie WITHOUT turning into an exotic dancer…not that we would know anything about that, either…
S+S

jasonwclark said...

The ghost of Giovanni Battista Bracelli sends word from beyond the grave, and says 'Right on Seraph and Splendor! You two are the best!!!'

A happy halloween and thanks for just making my entire year!

Seraph + Splendor said...

Thanks so much! We love comments from beyond the grave...
S+S

petra voegtle said...

Seraph and Splendor - thanks for another very entertaining post. Right on what you say - people can be so stupid.
As an aside - do you really get hate mails? Are people really that dumba...d that they don't get the point??? I cannot believe it but on the other hand I know there is so much stupidity in this universe that if the cockroaches would feed on it we were already gone!!!

Martial greetings to you both, Petra

P.S. I am sure you will love my new painting that I am currently working on - ha

Seraph + Splendor said...

...ahh, yes - enough said. We often dream of living in Europe because we feel much at odds with the predominate views here in the US. It is great to hear from you – we are sure your new painting is sublime…
S+S

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