Monday, October 12, 2009

Tented Gloom



OK, here at Chintz of Darkness we have participated in some strange activities and still have the scars and bruises to prove it, thank you very much. With that clearly stated there still remain several activities that we steadfastly refuse to partake in under any circumstance. Acts so vile and insidious that they cannot be spoken of in polite company and only whispered about in dingy doorways and dark alleys. You may ask, dear readers, what are these evil deeds that must be avoided simply to save ones soul? Why none other the insidious acts of DANCING AND CAMPING. Now we are not even going to dignify the subject of dancing. Suffice to say there are only two reasons one should dance 1) you are being electrocuted 2) NEVER!!! End of subject. 

 



As to the issue of camping, we live in a part of the country where the practice is held up to near mythic proportions. It seems that trudging around in the middle of nowhere trying to find some crappy place to sleep constitutes “communing with nature”. To us this concept is not only overrated but potentially life threatening. Why risk getting lost in the woods, falling down a ravine or getting devoured by a clan of mountain trolls? Every so called “outdoor activity” can be performed effortlessly from the comfort of our own home AND there is no need to get ants in ones pants or bitten by a hobgoblin.





A tented room is a great beginning to ones indoor activities. We started festooning our studio walls with wall hangings and banners as soon as we moved in. Soon the kitchen doorway was transformed into a fearsome entrance to an exotic pavilion with the ceiling draped in cloth of gold. Now the whole design theme has started running rampant. One must duck through gauzy passageways just to find the powder room and we have begun carpeting our apartment’s communal hallway (much to our neighbor’s dismay…)







Another activity that is well suited to the indoors is picnicking. Outdoor picnics are simply out of the question due to the fact that our tablecloth collection has ended up as wall upholstery and our placemats and napkins have been made into pillow sets. It goes without saying what we are not about to pack our fine china into some rickety food stained wicker basket or risk losing a silver spoon in the undergrowth simply to eat our lunch in the yard. Now by “fine china” we of course mean an absinthe fountain, a martini shaker and a set of blood red goblets. As for the silverware, our favorite set is stainless steel and resembles a Karl Blossfeldt photograph. Unfortunately the forks were stolen piece by piece by a pair of thieving ghetto witches that gained access under false pretenses and then riffled through our belongings at will. But that is a story for another day…YIKES, is it any wonder why we are hesitant to leave our abode to go wander around in some park looking at the trees? It is much more fun picnicking on fried chicken and potato salad while lounging around half naked in front of a velvet curtain on a luscious pile of pillows. But if you remain stubborn, dear ones, you can try this outside as well, but there is usually no place to hang the draperies…







In the future perhaps we shall tackle the controversial subject of blending interior decoration with hiking, but until then enjoy our indoor inspirations…


Last but not least, Thomas Britt’s amazingly lovely tent of gloom…



 Goblins of oaks and denizens of darkness
Bathed in the wine of a delightful night...
And lives there, but dies at dawn…
Dies in me with barbarous voice.
The dark forest enchants me!

("The Dark Forest" by Behemoth)

11 comments:

Lauren said...

While I surely cannot agree about dancing, I will say that I've always detested the idea of camping. Just can't wrap my head around it. However, I do love the idea of a tented interior, and these are FABULOUS! Love the one with the striped ceiling. Something about the breeziness makes it seem like the sort of tent Napoleon would take to the battlefield... minus the Moroccan elements, ha.

Lauren
(IN) DECOROUS TASTE

Seraph + Splendor said...

So glad that you like the tents! The phobia about dancing comes from a deep dark childhood trauma regarding ballet lessons and pink tutus…and there are pictures to prove it...ouch
S+S

Dirgesinger said...

I cannot agree more with the dancing stuff. i am not good at it and the whole thing seems just ridiculous. Blaaah.
however, these interiors are AMAZING. i could delight my eyes on them for hours.

Jill said...

Camping I totally agree...dancing...well that has led to some of the best sex of my life. I've always thought of dancing as foreplay.

Love the tented Moroccan vibe. It's right up my designing alley!

Seraph + Splendor said...

Now if only they would integrate the foreplay concept into that creepy Dancing with the Stars show…

Anonymous said...

Love the tents....I almost put up the camping canopy that my husband bought to entice me to go camping (must stay out of the sun at all costs; bad for the complexion, you know)this summer. I was going to drape it with fabric, put down an oriental rug, drag out a chair and ottoman, and plug in a fan, but, alas, too busy doing other things. Try living with 2 Boy Scouts and avoid camping...it takes some creative excuse-making!
As to Dancing with the Stars....who are these so-called stars anyway? And why do they wear such horrid costumes? I don't get it.....but that's just me!

{Tara} said...

I've always loved the idea of making a room into an indoor tent...but then I can't help but wonder how you go about dusting it?

Fairwood Haven said...

Love your Posts-!!
They're always slightly Dark -- But Always Humorous and Upbeat -!!

I'm thinking about Tent-like - Decorative Folding Screens -- Thanks for the Inspiration--!!

Dirgesinger said...

Dear Seraph and Splendor! I have left a little present for You on my blog!

Seraph + Splendor said...

Thank you so much - we will go investigate!
S+S

Scheharazade said...

Absolutely wonderful like a fairy tale ...

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