Tuesday, December 1, 2009

Beast Feast




We certainly hope that everyone had a lovely celebration this last week (as in celebration we mean surviving not ONE but TWO Belphegor shows in a matter of days and not that weird American holiday that celebrates overeating and family fights…not to mention mass consumption of pie.) Truth be told we actually had a lovely and calm Thanksgiving. That WOULD NOT have happened if we were left to our own devices. Case in point, one year while fending for ourselves we ended up basting the turkey while draped in mummy cloth and chains. Perhaps there is even a photo of the outcome if one knows where to look…hmmm…







Thanksgiving it seems has turned into a holiday where you must go out and shop BEFORE your food is settled or you have had a chance to consume a refreshing cocktail. To us BLACK FRIDAY sounded like a day where one could wear corpse paint to work and everyone was required to recite Darkthrone lyrics by memory. According to the news we are wrong about this and it is instead a day where you are supposed to go out and buy a bunch of useless crap. Well, we are proud to say we purchased a long list of unmentionable things that did nothing whatsoever to stimulate the economy…HA. There is far too much emphasis on shopping when the proper focus should be on making messes and public spectacles…





Speaking of which, the whole concept of entertaining is one of those things that always looks good on paper but in actuality proves difficult (remember, dear ones, we have no dining room, suitable set of chairs and our formal silverware is so tarnished it resembles a recently discovered relic from the Bronze Age.) All of this is then paired with our psycho type “A” personalities and a flair for the over complicated.







We fondly remember (yeah right…) the occasion when it became apparent that we needed a proper set of napkins (as opposed to the everyday napkins that we stuff in the top drawer of our dishwasher…) Now most people would probably just go out and purchase a sensible set of linens. Instead we decided to make our own from vintage brocade sari fabric. Now this exquisite fabric was an iridescent black gold spangled with jewel tone accents not to mention constructed entirely out of metal threads that serrated ones lips on contact. Now to finish off these potentially deadly napkins we adorned the corners with tassels and brass bells (thus making them jingle like a pack of bloodthirsty cats, which of course is what everyone is looking for in a linen set…damn, we are weird sometimes (sometimes???) Now once these evil creations were placed in their overwrought napkin rings we are sure our guests thought them to be some exotic decoration and had to quietly slink off to the kitchen to find a paper towel…








Come to think of it these napkins would go nicely with some newly acquired placements so heavy studded with embroidered mirror pieces that dishes sit at treacherous angles, much like dining inside the leaning tower of Pisa. Which nicely brings us to the next dilemma at hand…how could we possibly allow someone to pass around drippy plates of slop over the collection of antique drapery panels that serve as our tablecloths? And let’s not even get started with our concept of place cards…




Now perhaps entertaining would become even more surreal around here if we had this collection of extravagant beast themed serving vessels, centerpieces and furniture…



Where Feasts Are Held In All Praise
Empires Rise To Fall
Porcelain Faces Crushed By Legions
A New Kingdom Born
Eternal Night To Reign Forever
From Ashes Of Desolate Faith
In The Sky The Kingdom Loathes
The Choirs Of The Damned Sounding

(“Graveyards and Dead Angels” by Goatwhore)

21 comments:

Jill said...

The nautilus dragon...I just had a tiny orgasm!
It's sublime.

Goatwhore...that made me laugh. I wonder what a goat pimp looks like? My husband calls me his pimp...because I do his scheduling and negotiate his rates. The lead singer for Ministry has a wife (which in itself is a bit surprising)...her email name is Bucksatan...that made me laugh too for some reason. We haven't met yet. I'm meeting her Thursday...she's to call me "Bucknaked". I'm rambling...sorry. This is what insomnia does to me!

Seraph + Splendor said...

Hey Jill,

You have to watch out for those dragons...

...seriously we think Goatwhore got their band name from a run in with an rather unsightly stripper…yikes...

S+S

P.S.
Can we all call you "Bucknaked"?

Carla Fox said...

My grandmother actually had one of those chairs made from horns. It was, surprisingly, not all that uncomfortable! The napkins sound beautiful! Have you tried using them for exfoliation? Don't, for god sake, let anyone slop gravy on them!!

Seraph + Splendor said...

...we have a weakness for anything with horns (chairs included!) And of course live in mortal fear of gravy...

Also, thanks so much for the info you sent - it is much appreciated!

S+S

Anonymous said...

Holy Mo'sAss!
That swan has me swooning, as do all things Tiffany.
This is a beautiful post, as all your'n are.
Tell me, what do yous two do for "a living"? (We all know "a living" is a lot different from "living".) Yous (the correct plural in Minnesota) must be artists. Silverwork or jewelry or something like it? I look forward to each unique and lasciviously luscious post, and try so hard to live up to your Top Ten rules of living in a sin-ply sensible manner. OK, I draw the line at tats. Loving yous,
Mo in KCMO

Seraph + Splendor said...

Thanks for the comment! We have managed to be professional designers thanks to some loyal supporters...wouldn't know what else to do - have to keep the hands & sewing machines busy!!!
S+S

Jill said...

Yes, you may

The Blushing Hostess said...

"extravagant beast themed serving vessels"... when I get really sick of my site I come over here -yah, so, did you know I was here everyday?... I just love it, can I curl up on a blood red settee and have a cocktail with you two? My alter ego just wears me out, I like you so much better. Be well and your work is exceedingly, almost preposterously well done. Thank you for writing and styling this fabulous thing.

Seraph + Splendor said...

Thanks so much...we really do appreciate your kind words...you AND your alter ego are welcome to curl up any time!
S+S

Holly said...

Absolutely beautiful. I love your blog, it has so much inspiration for me! I use a lot of bones and skulls in my art, and anything with horns is just amazing.

I want that silver bowl with the dragons....eeeeee!

Thank you for posting, I'll be following for sure....:)

~Holly

www.fyriel.com

Seraph + Splendor said...

...the dragon bowl is quite inspiring...think of an entire table setting in that theme...if dinner become dull you could reenact your favorite battle from LOTR!
S+S

La Petite Gallery said...

It said Chintz..


Wholly Cow!!! WoW!
This is so different, not Chintz
interesting. I love gargoyles
I am new here..

Seraph + Splendor said...

...welcome to our madness!!!
S+S

(IN)DECOROUS TASTE said...

Oh my god, this is hilarious. Jingling napkins?! I will have to steal that one from you. What a fabulous way to keep the guests alert! That and plop them on horned chairs. Now we're talking.

Beautiful objects, beautiful images.

Lauren

Seraph + Splendor said...

Seriously, we are not joking about these damn napkins…not only are they jingly but they are potentially deadly as well. Maybe we should make them into throw pillows…
S+S

carla fox said...

Looking forward to a holiday posting from you two. I just bought 2 small black christmas tress and am so exited! Can't find any black corded lights though....

Seraph + Splendor said...

Hi Carla,

...is it really that time of year again??? We bought some black trees last year - they are so wicked. We have found the best time of year to find black trees, lights etc is around Halloween. Do you have a large costume store near you, sometimes they have Halloween stuff all year. Why do we know these things???
S+S

carla fox said...

No, no costume store, just Goodwill and St. Vincent. Didn't use lights, just used teal and charteurse ornaments.

How do you decorate yours?

Other than that, I could have skipped the whole mess this year....

Seraph + Splendor said...

Your tree sounds great!We usually alternate between a noble fir and a fabulous vintage silver tree. Either way we like to create a “pagan forest” with our collection of glass birds and fruit…we cannot resist collecting ornaments for some reason. Might even do a little decorating tonight!
S+S

Anonymous said...

can you tell me where the image of the beast/wolf queen comes from? Is it a movie? love it!!!

Great blog by the way....just discovered it....thank you!

Seraph + Splendor said...

Thanks so much - so glad that you have found our blog!

If we are not mistaken it is from the film "The Company of Wolves" (directed by Neil Jordan)...if you like this sort of thing, we highly recommend "Snow White A Tale of Terror" as well!!!

S+S

Related Posts with Thumbnails