Sunday, December 13, 2009

Naughty by Nature



Recently we were reminded it is indeed “that time of the year again”. While doing some important internet research (HA!) we ran across a charming Swedish illustration depicting Santa Claus riding a demonic goat, holding a steaming cauldron of boiling blood with a basket of severed body parts tucked under his arm. Now if that does not get you in the holiday mood we do not know what will. While perhaps we have taken a few liberties deciphering the picture (you be the judge, dear readers…) it does seem that in Scandinavia they have a tradition of the YULE GOAT. We find this most refreshing and believe that a cantankerous horned beast is a vast improvement over yet another elf in gaudy stockings and pointy boots…







Now it probably goes without saying that here at Chintz of Darkness we are truly naughty by nature. Judging from the various shenanigans that have taken place over the year we are expecting nothing more in our stocking than a lump of coal the size of an overfed basset hound. We are sure it does not help matters that we do not even celebrate the “major” holiday of the month; instead we make up our own as we go along. Just the other day it was ST. NATTEFROST DAY where you…oh never mind…



Not much has changed from last year’s post regarding decorating for the holidays. After looking in our closet the other day it seems that yet again we have accumulated another odd assemblage of decorations that must be dealt with before they infiltrate our underwear drawers and frighten away our socks. There is a large glitter encrusted star with a lovely patina reminiscent of moldering stardust (or perhaps it is just a mixture of asbestos and coarsely ground glass that will undoubtedly rain down TOXIC SHARDS thought out the season…) A herd of miniature stuffed elephants has taken up residence among the demon haunted boots and ill fitting jackets that live in the back of our closet. The prerequisite glass birds and baubles dwell in relative safety upon the top shelf, not wishing to be crushed into smithereens by the daily upheavals and turf wars that take place between the hangers and chest of drawers.



Everyone knows that the true “REASON FOR THE SEASON” is to have a legitimate excuse to cram even more garish and odd décor into one’s home. Not to mention being able to dazzle your neighbors and confuse the squirrels with a Moroccan themed light display complete with jagged blinking stars and multicolored lights in the shape of miniature onion domes. One year it seems this festive (in our minds at least…) display even OFFENDED MOTHER NATURE who (in her infinite wisdom) conjured up a wicked storm and blew our stars thought out the neighborhood in a display of cosmic power not seen since the Big Bang itself. Did we just say big bang? damn…that probably was not a good idea…make that a lump of coal the size of a small giraffe.







We have not decided if we are going to tempt fate yet again and install (what is left) of our outdoor lights, but are proud to say we have completed our indoor decorations. This year we have chosen to encrust a noble fir in hallucination inducing lights in shades of amethyst, emerald and topaz. Our tree now gives off an eerie and lurid glow in the spirit (no pun intended) of a DAY OF THE DEAD celebration. This is inevitably what happens when you shop for decorations during Halloween and is precisely how we ended up with those spooky black trees the other year. We are happy to say that our collection of folk art animals seem quite at home nestled among the branches. These miniature beasts are accompanied by colorful tin birds and butterflies that flutter among stars and moons. Glass icicles and glittering garland complete this winter wonderland… HA!

Tell us, dear readers, how do you decorate for the holidays?



A pure veil of darkness.
A mysterious fog.
The Moon is full.
And the Wolves you call.
Red as my blood it is the sky above us.
As I witness the arrival of the Winter Solstice.

(“Ancient Winter Goddess” by Moonspell)

10 comments:

Carla Fox said...

We used to have a pair of goats (brothers at that) that were truly THE GOATS FROM HELL!! Remind me to tell you that story someday.....

Love the imagery and photos. Beautiful, as always.

cable_zombie said...

My mum's house is decorated real nice, with lots of ivy vines and things made from the garden.

This is the first year I've had my own tree and I didn't have any proper decorations so I used my jewellery and some flowers. My friend made me a random Varg Vikernes decoration for the top, which makes me laugh every time I see it.

{Tara} said...

We really need more photos of your amazing abode! The descriptions are always so mesmerizing...
I'm in love with that horned chair.
Tara

Seraph + Splendor said...

Thanks for the comments everyone! We are indeed in love with that chair as well. We do not even want to inquire about the price because we are sure it would make us cry...
S+S

carla fox said...

If the Goats from Hell ever come wandering back home (doubtful, since it's been awhile) you can have 2 pairs of curly horns like the chair..... You have to get them away from them, though. That's the tricky part! Plus, they know how to use them!

Seraph + Splendor said...

...we must hear more about these infernal beasts! Also, we are sure they are on their way home at this exact moment now that you have offered us their horns...yikes!
S+S

Jill said...

That last chair scares the hell out of me. It might not let the inhabitant loose!

Great post...very visual...love the corsetry. I'm thinking that "corsertry" isn't a word. I would love to see your decorations. I like non-typical holiday decor.

Seraph + Splendor said...

...we really try to avoid the cliques. Santa creeps us out...not to mention...oh, never mind.

How did your meeting go with Bucksatan?

S+S

Jill said...

I haven't met her yet. At the last minute I was unable to attend the function. But she has agreed to help me with the Youth Symphony...My imagination will probably not live up to the hype. I met one of the band members...Sin...and behind the goth facade, he's just a really nice guy.

Seraph + Splendor said...

That's great she is helping with your event! We have met a few people in our travels...some live up to the hype, some exceed it (in a bad way...) Let us know how things turn out!
S+S

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