Recently we were reminded it is indeed “that time of the year again”. While doing some important internet research (HA!) we ran across a charming Swedish illustration depicting Santa Claus riding a demonic goat, holding a steaming cauldron of boiling blood with a basket of severed body parts tucked under his arm. Now if that does not get you in the holiday mood we do not know what will. While perhaps we have taken a few liberties deciphering the picture (you be the judge, dear readers…) it does seem that in Scandinavia they have a tradition of the YULE GOAT. We find this most refreshing and believe that a cantankerous horned beast is a vast improvement over yet another elf in gaudy stockings and pointy boots…
Now it probably goes without saying that here at Chintz of Darkness we are truly naughty by nature. Judging from the various shenanigans that have taken place over the year we are expecting nothing more in our stocking than a lump of coal the size of an overfed basset hound. We are sure it does not help matters that we do not even celebrate the “major” holiday of the month; instead we make up our own as we go along. Just the other day it was ST. NATTEFROST DAY where you…oh never mind…
Not much has changed from last year’s post regarding decorating for the holidays. After looking in our closet the other day it seems that yet again we have accumulated another odd assemblage of decorations that must be dealt with before they infiltrate our underwear drawers and frighten away our socks. There is a large glitter encrusted star with a lovely patina reminiscent of moldering stardust (or perhaps it is just a mixture of asbestos and coarsely ground glass that will undoubtedly rain down TOXIC SHARDS thought out the season…) A herd of miniature stuffed elephants has taken up residence among the demon haunted boots and ill fitting jackets that live in the back of our closet. The prerequisite glass birds and baubles dwell in relative safety upon the top shelf, not wishing to be crushed into smithereens by the daily upheavals and turf wars that take place between the hangers and chest of drawers.
Everyone knows that the true “REASON FOR THE SEASON” is to have a legitimate excuse to cram even more garish and odd décor into one’s home. Not to mention being able to dazzle your neighbors and confuse the squirrels with a Moroccan themed light display complete with jagged blinking stars and multicolored lights in the shape of miniature onion domes. One year it seems this festive (in our minds at least…) display even OFFENDED MOTHER NATURE who (in her infinite wisdom) conjured up a wicked storm and blew our stars thought out the neighborhood in a display of cosmic power not seen since the Big Bang itself. Did we just say big bang? damn…that probably was not a good idea…make that a lump of coal the size of a small giraffe.
We have not decided if we are going to tempt fate yet again and install (what is left) of our outdoor lights, but are proud to say we have completed our indoor decorations. This year we have chosen to encrust a noble fir in hallucination inducing lights in shades of amethyst, emerald and topaz. Our tree now gives off an eerie and lurid glow in the spirit (no pun intended) of a DAY OF THE DEAD celebration. This is inevitably what happens when you shop for decorations during Halloween and is precisely how we ended up with those spooky black trees the other year. We are happy to say that our collection of folk art animals seem quite at home nestled among the branches. These miniature beasts are accompanied by colorful tin birds and butterflies that flutter among stars and moons. Glass icicles and glittering garland complete this winter wonderland… HA!
Tell us, dear readers, how do you decorate for the holidays?
A pure veil of darkness.
A mysterious fog.
The Moon is full.
And the Wolves you call.
Red as my blood it is the sky above us.
As I witness the arrival of the Winter Solstice.
(“Ancient Winter Goddess” by Moonspell)