Friday, August 20, 2010

Flying South

Now Chintz of Darkness exists firmly in reality but many of its rooms, corridors and passageways are only accessible by a journey through a mist shrouded etherworld. These spaces are merely glimpsed as fleeting visions or as hazy vistas that disappear as soon as one approaches. Those who follow these apparitions too ardently often become forever lost chasing a sure footed slipper chair down a mystical hallway full of clutter or have become ensnared in a VIGNETTE OF SKULLS. The rooms here are decorated with physical things such as tables and chairs as well as thoughts and ideas. One might share the sofa with a stray spell or a particularly dreary BAUDELAIRE poem or find a reflection of an unearthly landscape in every mirror. So be warned, dear readers, and enter at your own risk…



In our current realm of darkness you are greeted outside the door by a smiling demon mask and a small Persian carpet (a magic carpet no less, so watch your step.) It has been pointed out that the hallway of our apartment building is deemed “public space” by the management, apparently meaning KEEP YOUR CREEPY BELONGINGS INSIDE YOUR OWN APARTMENT etc etc blah, blah, blah… We consider the laundry room a “public space” too, but that does not prevent our weirdo neighbor from doing her laundry in the buff and stealing our dish towels. It also does not stop another neighbor from keeping A FULL CAN OF GASOLINE on top of large pile of cardboard boxes by his car. He appears to be from the school of thought that ARSONISTS ARE PEOPLE TOO and just need a bit of encouragement like everyone else…damn…Well WE are from the school of thought that we should be able to litter the otherwise empty spaces throughout the building with throw pillows and cocktail tables and turn the communal storage room into a fully hosted bar… humph…

Truth be told, we have a long and illustrious history of being rather FREE SPIRITED (ok, maybe unruly is a better word) tenants. Did we ever tell you the story of the time we painted our (former) storefront like a lovely jewel toned Victorian castle complete with gilded trim and filigree stencils? Now when we say “jewel toned” we do not mean some tepid color palette one might find at Home Depot, but instead an exuberant combination of bloody burgundy, blackened teal accented with black, gold and electric gunmetal flourishes. After the paint job was complete we promptly studded the front door in a dizzying display of nail head that would have made Augustus Pugin swoon and were about to start installing the GOTHIC GINGERBREAD ARCHES when the city intervened citing some code violation. HA!

This would perhaps be a good time as any to point out that the rest of the building was painted entirely white and blue resembling a Greek flag and that our landlords lacked not only an aesthetic eye but a sense of humor as well. It probably goes without saying that we were promptly evicted as soon as our lease ran out. (We certainly would have enjoyed being a fly on the wall when they discovered how we painted the INSIDE of the building…hee hee…) There really is no need to bring up the time when we decorated the walls of our first apartment with Indian tapestries mounted NOT on decorative rods but rather held in place with a set of kitchen knives or that occasion we adorned the ceiling with a GLOW IN THE DARK skyscape and lived entirely in black light for a month and a half…hmmm, better keep that to our selves lest you start thinking us strange…

So tell us, all of you lodgers, renters and boarders out there…are you naughty or nice?

Behold the black cloud of corpselike birds
Their wings are on fire
And their song has turned backwards
A morbid cacophony singing of...
A new dawn!

(“Casus Luciferi” by Watain)
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