Friday, August 20, 2010

Flying South


Now Chintz of Darkness exists firmly in reality but many of its rooms, corridors and passageways are only accessible by a journey through a mist shrouded etherworld. These spaces are merely glimpsed as fleeting visions or as hazy vistas that disappear as soon as one approaches. Those who follow these apparitions too ardently often become forever lost chasing a sure footed slipper chair down a mystical hallway full of clutter or have become ensnared in a VIGNETTE OF SKULLS. The rooms here are decorated with physical things such as tables and chairs as well as thoughts and ideas. One might share the sofa with a stray spell or a particularly dreary BAUDELAIRE poem or find a reflection of an unearthly landscape in every mirror. So be warned, dear readers, and enter at your own risk…


 

  

In our current realm of darkness you are greeted outside the door by a smiling demon mask and a small Persian carpet (a magic carpet no less, so watch your step.) It has been pointed out that the hallway of our apartment building is deemed “public space” by the management, apparently meaning KEEP YOUR CREEPY BELONGINGS INSIDE YOUR OWN APARTMENT etc etc blah, blah, blah… We consider the laundry room a “public space” too, but that does not prevent our weirdo neighbor from doing her laundry in the buff and stealing our dish towels. It also does not stop another neighbor from keeping A FULL CAN OF GASOLINE on top of large pile of cardboard boxes by his car. He appears to be from the school of thought that ARSONISTS ARE PEOPLE TOO and just need a bit of encouragement like everyone else…damn…Well WE are from the school of thought that we should be able to litter the otherwise empty spaces throughout the building with throw pillows and cocktail tables and turn the communal storage room into a fully hosted bar… humph…



Truth be told, we have a long and illustrious history of being rather FREE SPIRITED (ok, maybe unruly is a better word) tenants. Did we ever tell you the story of the time we painted our (former) storefront like a lovely jewel toned Victorian castle complete with gilded trim and filigree stencils? Now when we say “jewel toned” we do not mean some tepid color palette one might find at Home Depot, but instead an exuberant combination of bloody burgundy, blackened teal accented with black, gold and electric gunmetal flourishes. After the paint job was complete we promptly studded the front door in a dizzying display of nail head that would have made Augustus Pugin swoon and were about to start installing the GOTHIC GINGERBREAD ARCHES when the city intervened citing some code violation. HA!




This would perhaps be a good time as any to point out that the rest of the building was painted entirely white and blue resembling a Greek flag and that our landlords lacked not only an aesthetic eye but a sense of humor as well. It probably goes without saying that we were promptly evicted as soon as our lease ran out. (We certainly would have enjoyed being a fly on the wall when they discovered how we painted the INSIDE of the building…hee hee…) There really is no need to bring up the time when we decorated the walls of our first apartment with Indian tapestries mounted NOT on decorative rods but rather held in place with a set of kitchen knives or that occasion we adorned the ceiling with a GLOW IN THE DARK skyscape and lived entirely in black light for a month and a half…hmmm, better keep that to our selves lest you start thinking us strange…




So tell us, all of you lodgers, renters and boarders out there…are you naughty or nice?


Behold the black cloud of corpselike birds
Their wings are on fire
And their song has turned backwards
A morbid cacophony singing of...
A new dawn!

(“Casus Luciferi” by Watain)

13 comments:

petoskystone said...

hmmm...naughty/nice are such pale verbs. i prefer strange, my daughter says i'm too old to be scary, i'm just weird. a friend has labeled me a 'freak of nature' due to my reading habits & ability to pull out arcane/archaic material in discussion. my living space is uncluttered, but...odd..perhaps.....love the necklace :) i have one my daughter finds outright 'disgusting', but it makes me smile every time i see it. have you tried turning your arsonist-neighbor into the fire dept. for a stern warning? having a great respect for fire, that little pile of his would be on my S3 list (seriously scary shit).

Seraph + Splendor said...

...there is certainly nothing wrong with being a freak of nature!
S+S

Kendra Boutell said...

S+ S~ Fortunately all of my naughtiness is hidden in my cottage and my neighbors do the same! I love the peacock imagery, of course. Best, Kendra

Seraph + Splendor said...

...thought you might!
S+S

MJ said...

You pair should be let loose on the landlord landscapes of America which are sadly lacking in imagination.

Seraph + Splendor said...

...hee! We will do our part!
S+S

The Blushing Hostess said...

I read this with my 3 y/o babe in my lap, she enjoyed the pics - it'll be 15 years before I introduce her to the text, wink! She is a sucker for bird-related stuff...

Hope you are both well!!! Cat

Jill said...

I tend to be a rule follower in public...luckily my husband is not. We balance each other.

Seraph + Splendor said...

Thanks for the comments everyone! It is good to know that we are not entirely corrupting the minds of our dear readers...or not!
S+S

carla fox said...

The blackened teal storefront sounds positively scrumptious! I had a tiny half-bath that I painted a dark teal, but it wasn't dark enough so I added black to the paint. It was yummy, to say the least. I like that you greet your guests outside your door (with decor)...gives them some warning as to what they're getting into;-)

Seraph + Splendor said...

...it is a lovely color if you get it dark enough! Damn, our landlords freaked...
S+S

THE PICKLED HUTCH said...

Dear S&S,
I have painted my apartment living room 13 times in 15 years in my quest to make my eternally evolving decor work. Blackened teal with black curtains and antiqued gold trim was one of my favorites. These landlords should appreciate our taking pride in our establishments and efforts to elevate the sensibilities of those around us. No imagination or wit indeed!
Keep inspiring us!
And hope you had a wonderful summer. I have been off the radar with my head in a paint can for most of it and need to play catch up!
xoxo
Lisa & Alfie

Seraph + Splendor said...

So good to hear from you, Lisa! We love the concept of painting your living room on a yearly basis - you are an inspiration! As to our former landlords, did we mention that they turned off our hot water for 9 months as retaliation!!! It cannot be said that we have not suffered for our art. HA!

Kisses to Alfie - how is the little darling?

S+S

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