As to the recent happenings around our haunted halls: yes, the kitchen here at Chintz of Darkness is fully functional and is in fact OPEN 24 HOURS A DAY. If one has a craving for a toasted cheese sandwich sprinkled with fresh basil and parmesan shavings at four in the morning that request can quite often be granted (although the clattering of pans will undoubtedly wake up the ghosts and the chef on duty is not likely to be *completely* sober…hmm…)
This must be clearly stated in advance because for some unbeknownst reason Seraph + Splendor are perceived as the kind of people that are quite incapable of cooking for themselves. We are not sure where this perception comes from but there are those who think that we survive on a diet entirely consisting of ABSINTHE AND HUMAN BLOOD that is served to us in jeweled skull goblets by a pair of bats that we have enslaved into infernal servitude. While that is fine and dandy for special occasions it is problematic for everyday living. Not only do the bat’s leashes get tangled in Splendor’s unruly hair but they tend to have, hmm how shall we put it? POOR BATHROOM ETIQUETTE…HA!
Truth be told, our kitchen is a haven of domestic bliss (as long as one is careful to avoid the demonic portals in several of the frying pans and NEVER look the garbage disposal directly in the eyes…) Culinary tasks are of course divided evenly and everyone (even the bats) take turns doing the dishes.
While Seraph is renowned for his panic producing poultry preparations (hee!), Splendor’s claim to fame is making a mess. As the saying goes, dear readers, there comes a time when one simply must wash their hands of things. Usually this happens right after Splendor makes a peanut butter & jelly sandwich or with anything involving mayonnaise, butter or cheese (do not even ask…) and if there is any flour being used it would be advised to grab an umbrella before entering the kitchen…but that is neither nor there.
When it comes to serving our meals, our everyday dishes are a sullen assortment of black plates and mismatched bowls that have followed us home from Goodwill over the years. Complimenting this troubled tableware is our set of blood red goblets etched with cryptic flourishes, and of course our wrought iron silverware (ironwear?) reminiscent of a Karl Blossfeldt photograph. Needless to say this odd assemblage results in a rather spooky dining experience for all involved…
We do have a set of “Good” china (as opposed to the bad natured and slutty china mentioned above.) It is a lovely heirloom set straight from the prim and proper 1950’s complete with delicate rose hues blossoms and dainty flowing lines. Now, we can already hear you laughing, dear readers, but instead of looking at this as a DETRIMENT TO DARKNESS we just use our menacing serpent candleholders and a set of glass apples to create a miniature reenactment of the Garden of Eden. All that is missing is a scantily clad “Eve” centerpiece …Volunteers anyone?
Tell us, what is on YOUR plate tonight?
Also, we would like to say a very special thanks to Carla, Mo & everyone else that has stopped by to visit our new shop!
The fields and dwellings of relapsing ruins
Find thou thyself in every star
Achieve thou every possibility
Listen! Heed not the siren-voice of thought
(“Descent to Acheron” by Absu)