In other noteworthy news
of late Seraph + Splendor have welcomed a new baby girl into their
lives! The blessed event happened a little over a year ago and the
proud parents are as pleased as punch.. The little bundle of joy
weighed in at whopping 31 pounds upon delivery (ouch!) and came
complete with a handle on her head, a knee lift and JOY OF JOYS an
automatic thread cutter! The young Missy thrives on a strict diet of
thread, machine oil and broken needles and is quite content, thank
you very much. Well, if you have not already surmised our offspring
is indeed a shiny new sewing machine, which joins a already growing
family of Pfaffs.


Now if truth be told,
Splendor's long suffering parents were less than thrilled at the news
and perhaps even a bit perturbed at the prospect of YET AGAIN reading
bedtime stories to a nothing more than a BAG OF BOLTS. Quite
understandable some might say after a series of less than desirable
grandchildren including (but not limited to) a feral cat, a box of
lint and oh, let us not forget about we adopted that.. oh, never
mind... Now for others anxiously awaking the birth of Seraph +
Splendor's demon child, you must be patient, patient as in NEVER...
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{In a dark corner of Obsidian Hall...) |
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Now, sewing can be a
fulfilling pastime offering hours of enjoyment and... blah, blah,
blah... do not believe that rubbish for a second, dear readers for
in fact sewing is a DEATH DEFYING BLOOD SPORT not for the faint of
heart or casual passerby simply wishing to sew a set of potholders.
While Splendor is the embodiment of a human pincushion, Seraph
Scissorhands (an apt nickname indeed) fights a daily battle with
thread and foe alike. The Studio here at Obsidian Hall (now hidden in
the eves and best approached by a flight of rickety stairs) houses
casks and kegs of every imaginable implement, each more evil than the
next and better befitting a medieval torture's guild than a quaint
quilter's bee...


Over the years as word of
our talents (hmmm...) grew, we have been queried to create many
strange and wonderful things (but then again we have been asked to
conjure a pair of pantaloons for a pet money but THAT, dear ones, is
a story for another day...) Much like the plague our creations have
spread both far and wide, for in fact we once heard mention of one of
our conjurings on the national news. What was this grandiose gewgaw
worthy of praise by a thankful nation, you might ask?!?



Why nothing
more than a humble shower curtain. And by humble, we of course mean
a fully functioning drapery contraption, complete with a shaped
valance whose curves and curlycues were worthy of a contortionist. A
dizzying orgy of Chinoiserie style applique was further festooned
with solid silver medallions and a set of antique Turkoman tiebacks.
As for the national news coverage, the albeit former owner of this
ensemble currently serves time in a Federal prison for an elaborate
(yet highly illegal) ponzi scheme and said drapery was seized and
most like sold into white slavery... well, one must always look on
the dark side, dear ones, so at least it was dressed for the
occasion...

Other interesting
undertaking was the creation of a velvet robe for a life sized fully
animatronic elephant. There was a collar commissioned as well but
the first time the fearsome beast was fired up it was sucked into
the gears of it's greasy underbelly, the remnants unceremoniously
spat upon the floor... QUITE A PRIMADONNA PACHYDERM INDEED! Many
more tales could be told of semi-sentient slipcovers that could
forebode the future, carnivorous table treatments that consumes a
party of twelve and of course the cushions for a set of five legged
chairs ran off during their fittings, but we will save THOSE tales
for a rainy day...
Tell us, dear readers, do
you still believe that a stitch in time saves nine?
The
Mighty Voices
Of my Vengeance
Smash the Stillness of the Air
And
stand as Monoliths of Wrath
Upon a plan of writhing Serpents
(The
Black Hand Of Set by Nile)